4 Important Questions To Ask When You Make A Huge Mistake


Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

 

*  You get caught off-guard by a parent who is upset about an issue regarding their child – you respond in a less-than-professional manner and really let your “humanity” show.

*  You miscalculated the possible attendance to a big event (by over 100) and you don’t have enough food, supplies, or volunteers to pull it off.

*  You left your preparation for Kids Church until Saturday Night, then get hit with an unforeseen emergency.  You end up walking into Kids Church with NOTHING planned – and EVERYONE knows it!

All of us face scenarios like these (if you’ve been in ministry for ANY length of time, that is).  We’re human, and mistakes are a normal part of life.  Ministry (and every other part of life) is packed with difficult choices that require wisdom, and often, we have to face problems we’ve never encountered before.  Mistakes are inevitable—sometimes really big ones!  No matter how hard we try to do things right, the question isn’t “Will I make mistakes?” but “How will I respond to my mistakes?”

A long time ago, I made a commitment to avoid wasting my mistakes because they are some of the best learning opportunities in life.  Whenever I mess up, I try to ask four important questions:

1)  Why did it happen? – Was it a lack of planning, unrealistic expectations, poor communication, wrong motives, unforeseen obstacles, or some other reason?

2)  Was it avoidable?  – Many of our goofs can be avoided with better planning, communication, and execution, but some can’t.

3)  If it could have been avoided, what specifically could I have done to prevent it?

4)  What do I need to know, be, or do to avoid repeating the mistake?

Sometimes this is a process you can do all on your own.  Other times, you may need to bring a trusted outside voice into the situation to help you evaluate and answer these questions.  The number one rule in this process:  DON’T BE DEFENSIVE!  You can’t come to the table with a defensive posture.  If you spend your time defending your motives, your intentions, and your methods – then you defeat the purpose of evaluating.

Instead, be open.  Every mistake is an opportunity to grow.  Learn from them.  That way you don’t ever have to repeat them.  We are going to make mistakes.  Let’s just be determined to make NEW ones – not repeat the old ones.  Learn from your mistakes – and keep growing!!!

How about you?  What do you do in order to help you make sure to learn from your mistakes?  Comment and get in on the conversation!

I write about this subject in much more detail in my book, “I Blew It!”  As part of our “12 Deals Of Christmas” special through High Voltage Kids Ministry Resources, you can get my book for only $5 this week (retail is $14.99)!  CLICK HERE for more info!
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Happy Birthday!

Today, BRIAN’S BLOG turns 1 year old!  It was on August 1, 2011 that I posted my first “real” post.  Since then, I have watched God do many great things through this.  I have heard from many of the readers of the blog how a post has inspired, challenged, or changed you in some way.  I am very grateful for this opportunity.

My goal has always been to encourage and equip other Kidmin Leaders to increase their capacity to lead their teams, parents, and kids.  I appreciate all of you who are a part of this journey!

Wanna help?  Here are a couple of things you can do to help get the word out…

1)  Leave Comments.  – It doesn’t take long, and they don’t have to be wordy.  When you leave a comment you encourage others, show that you are reading, and help me see which posts are most effective.

2)  Ask A Question.  – When I began this blog, it was my desire to address topics that YOU are interested in – not just share my own thoughts.  I depend on each of you to spark conversation by asking questions about leadership, organization, ministry philosophy, or opinions on hot topics.  You can ask your question by filling out the form on this page of the blog.  If your question is used, you are given a $25 coupon to High Voltage Kids Ministry Web Store.

3)  Share A Post. – When you read something that is helpful, share it.  Click on the Facebook or Twitter SHARE buttons at the bottom of the post and post it to your wall.  This allows us to reach a MUCH bigger audience.  You never know – your friends may subscribe.

4)  Talk about BRIAN’S BLOG (www.briandollar.com)  – On Social Media, in an email, at a networking lunch, or at a conference – talk about BRIAN’S BLOG (briandollar.com) and how it has helped you be a better Kidmin Leader.  Talk about what we’ve learned and discussed.  YOU are the best advertisement this blog could ever get!

To help give you an incentive, I am giving away a free copy of my book, “I Blew It!” to one lucky person who leaves a comment this week.  Winner will be chosen by random draw on August 5th.

Thanks, again, for a great year!  I am so glad that I started this process.  It has been so rewarding for me.  I hope it has and continues to be for you.  God bless!

Winners of the “I Blew It!” giveaway!

Thanks to all of you who participated in our big giveaway that ended March 31st.  Many of you helped get the word out and many new subscribers were added to the BLOG.  Welcome to everyone!  Here are your winners:

Joe Hegedus of New Jersey

Nancy Freiling of Virginia

Pamela Bartley of Kentucky

Neil Hancock of Georgia

Lisa Grace

Each of them are receiving a FREE copy of my book, “I Blew It!”   If you would like more info about the book, click HERE!  Keep your eyes open for more winning opportunities.

In the meantime, help me spread the word about the BLOG.  We are still young – not even a year old.  We depend on you to help get the word out so we can connect and be a blessing to as many Kids Ministry leaders as possible.  Help us by posting something on Twitter or Facebook with a link to www.briandollar.com – share how the blog has been a blessing to you.  Thanks everyone!

Why I Wrote “I Blew It!”

WEEKLY KIDMIN QUESTION:

“So, why did you decide to write a book?” – submitted by Aaron in Arkansas

Since I announced that I was writing a book several months ago, this question has been asked of me many times.  I will have to admit, I asked it of myself many times – in many various forms.

I have read many books relating to Kids Ministry.  There are some that focus solely on practical ministry helps (i.e. Learn To Juggle In 15 Short Lessons or Understanding Your Pre-Teens).  There are others that focus solely on Leadership Lessons (i.e. 12 Habits Of The Post-Modern Kids Pastor).  Still others focus on challenging the status quo and making a BIG paradigm shift in the Kidmin World.

Most books I read come from the angle of “learning from the expert.”  That’s not the book I wanted to write.  Although I have been a Kids Pastor for nearly 20 years now, I in no way consider myself an “expert.”  I have failed more times than I can count.

That’s why I decided to reflect on my first 20 years of Kids Ministry and document the biggest mistakes I have made.  These mistakes range from leadership mistakes, personal failures, and practical ministry blunders.  I have written about them all in I Blew It!: the biggest mistakes I’ve made in kids ministry and how you can avoid them.

All of us must learn how to handle it when we make mistakes—and we certainly are going to make plenty of them.  We’re human, and mistakes are a normal part of life.  Ministry (and every other part of life) is packed with difficult choices that require wisdom, and often, we have to face problems we’ve never encountered before.  Mistakes are inevitable—sometimes really big ones!  No matter how hard we try to do things right, the question isn’t “Will I make mistakes?” but “How will I respond to my mistakes?”

This book is a collection of stories (some funny, some devastating) documenting mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned in more than twenty years of kids’ ministry.  I hope you can learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to make them yourself.

I Blew It! will be released by Influence Resources in January 2012!  You can pre-order an autographed copy through High Voltage Kids Ministry Resources now!

The Procrastination Trap

WEEKLY KIDMIN QUESTION:

“I struggle with procrastination.  I’m a spontaneous type of guy.  Do you think that hurts my leadership?” – submitted by David

As I’ve talked to hundreds of people involved in kids’ ministries across the country, I’ve observed that there’s an epidemic of procrastination.  We excuse it in all kinds of ways, but all our reasons lead to the same result.  Yes, you have to be quick, and you never know what a kid is going to say or what kind of crazy thing will happen next.  But many kids’ leaders believe their enthusiastic personalities and the spontaneity of their ministry give them a license to walk in unprepared.  They try to get by, doing the least they can do, and it shows.

I know what this is all about.  I used to fall prey to this procrastination trap for many years.  I wrote about it in my upcoming book, I Blew It! (the biggest mistakes I have made in Kids Ministry and how you can avoid them)”.  In the book, I tell about how the spontaneity bug bit me and caused me to lose credibility.

There’s no excuse for procrastination in preparing for children’s ministry.  God has given us an incredible privilege and responsibility to lead kids on their spiritual journey to becoming life-long followers of Jesus Christ. Someday, we’ll give an account for our motives and actions.  I don’t want to stand before God on that day and tell Him, “I would’ve been more intentional about my ministry to Your children, God, but I had more important things to do.”

Paul wrote to the Corinthians about the day that’s coming: “So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.  For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:9-10, cf. 1 Corinthians 3:10-15).  There are many good and noble motivations to live for Christ, to pay attention to His purposes, and to devote ourselves wholeheartedly to the work He has called us to do.  We serve kids because we love God with all our hearts and He has given us a love for children.  And we work hard to prepare and serve because someday we’ll give an account of our lives.  On that day, we want to see Him smile and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:23)

That’s what I want to hear.  How about you?