My Blog Turns 4 Years Old TODAY!

happy birthday brianWell, it was four years ago TODAY that I launched “Brian’s Blog.”  It has been a wild ride, and I have loved every minute of it.  This blog has grown from ZERO to over 25,000 monthly readers.  I could never have imagined that.  It’s by GOD’S grace that any of this has happened.  I am so honored to be a part of the lives of so many Kids Ministry Leaders and Parents who read my articles.

Would you help me celebrate my four year birthday?  In return, I will give YOU a birthday present!  Can’t beat that!

When I launched this blog, I was answering a weekly question from one of my readers.  We have gotten away from that in the last year or so.  I want to return to my roots!  That’s where YOU come in!

Please leave a comment telling me either a specific SUBJECT you would like me to write about (either Kids Ministry or Parenting) OR a specific question you would like to ask me.  I will choose several over the next several weeks to answer.  If I choose your question or suggested subject, you just might win an autographed copy of my upcoming book, “Talk Now And Later:  How To Lead Kids Through Life’s Tough Topics.”   Winners will be announced next week!

Thanks for helping build “Brian’s Blog” into a wonderful community of Kidmin Leaders and Parents who are committed to raising the next generation into life-long followers of Jesus Christ!  Leave a comment in the Comments section with your specific question or suggested subject for my next blog post!  God bless!

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Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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75 thoughts on “My Blog Turns 4 Years Old TODAY!

  1. How to start “from scratch” at a new church after being out of children’s ministry for a few (4) years with a church that has never had a kidmin director.

  2. How do I show and tell my kids how happy I am they are getting ready for the next stages of their lives,( driving, dating, moving out/college) when im actually anxious and depressed about it. I am not worried about them and their choices, I’m worried about this insane world we live in and knowing I can’t be there to protect their every move.

  3. I always like to read blog posts about systems folks have in place in their ministries.

    Safety
    Rewards (to kids)
    Service Orders
    Discipline

    Basically any how does your ministry do things.

    I enjoy your blog.

  4. We have kids that are allowed to avoid our awesome kids church, sit in the main service and pass the time by playing on their electronic devices….not at all participating in the service. I have lots of thoughts, but am curious to know yours… and is there a reaction to this issue?

  5. Old ideas verses new ideas … We will have our first kids crusade in a new to us church. It is a very small church but our district superintendent asked us to try it out and start a children’s ministry to help it grow. In order to do this we need to update and move around some tech. They had a nice screen in one room not being used a projector in sanctuary setting on floor shining in pack of choir loft not able to be seen. With pastors permission we hung screen and projector in sanctuary my husband does IT for a living so it was done correctly. Now that it is done the pastor now says we should have asked first which we did and appratly we have offended someone because by doing this I had to remove from a wall 2 paintings that apparently were painted by a now dead missionary. Let me add current Sunday morning attendance is 10 adults on average and 5 of those are there with us to start at children’s ministry for the local community. Thanks for listening.

  6. How do you instill in families that spiritual life / church is more important than sports / other activities?

  7. Happy Birthday my friend. Grateful for you blog and the courage you have to put your thoughts out there on a consistent basis.

  8. What parents want most from kidmin and what kidmin wants most from parents. And how to balance those wants. Or maybe needs? I’m a single non-parent so I don’t know one side of that equation! Oh and happy birthday!

  9. As a parent who has a child in Kid’s church, how do you approach (appropriately and without causing offense) the children’s pastor to bring up issues or concerns that you have with the way kid’s church is presented, security issues, and other topics that would arise with the kid’s pastor?

    Love reading your blog and love the advice you give to kid’s pastors and parents. Thanks for sharing!! Happy 4th blogaversary!

    • Unfortunately, there is NO guarantee that you will not cause an offense – because for someone to be offended they have to CHOOSE to be offended. If you first pray, second write out your concerns, third have your spouse (or someone you trust that is not directly involved) read through what you have written to make sure you have taken EMOTION out of the material, fourth set up a meeting where you calmly and carefully present your concerns. Do not make it a complaint fest. Begin with ONE concern. If the Children’s Pastor receives it well and is willing to listen, then share more concerns. If they are defensive, and it is obvious they are not interested in listening to you, then ask them if they would like to schedule a meeting with the pastor or Associate Pastor with you. Most of the time, you will find them to be very receptive if YOUR spirit is right. So, pray first – then share. Make sense?

  10. Hi Brian,
    I would like to personally thank you for sending the video for the memorial service for little Jamyala Irving. I can not even begin to tell you what it meant to the family. I had the great opportunity of leading the service and then closing it with an alter call. 2 of the family members gave their lives to Christ that night. We never know the full impact that we make in people’s lives, but you truly made a huge impact on Jamyala and her family. Thank you again, and look forward to seeing you soon.

    Myron Leavitt

    • Thank you so much! It was my honor to be a part of the service – even if it was by video. I appreciate the kind words, and am thankful to have been a small slice of Jamyala’s life!

  11. Hi Brian. Congratulations for four succesful years. I wish you more and more birthdays to come.
    My question is, how do you discuss death and dying to a 6 year old without scaring them, but rather empowering them with knowledge about life?

  12. How can you help the smaller churches who are struggling to grow the children’s program to a level that attracts more families with young children? We can’t seem to keep these new families that visit us. They say they are looking for enough other families to have friends for their kids and for them too. Been praying for the Lord to grow us but sometimes it is discouraging to lose families that visit for a short time only to leave for the bigger churches. What have some of you done to help this problem? We are a church of about 250 in a college town. Our Kids ministry is about 40 kids from Nursery to 5th grade.

  13. How to really get kid’s to understand the true meaning of worshipping and prayer.

    Thank you for all you do
    Heather

  14. What about a post about how you guys create your characters? That’s a process I would love to hear about.

  15. I just want to thank you for you commitment to children’s ministry. It is men like you that help continue investing in Kidz lives. Thank you for all your wisdom zeal.
    Sincerly
    Sal Rodriguez

  16. We have a young Father (under 50) who has terminal cancer. We have been praying and believing God for a miraculous healing. Sadly, it appears that this physical healing may not arrive per our prayers. How can we explain God’s sovereignty to the children in this Family? They are already in “melt-down” mode.

    Robert

  17. Brian,
    Two questions actually. 1. What has been your toughest thing in kids ministry other than maybe volunteers? 2. How do you connect parents to kid min ministry for volunteering and just ministry in general with their kids?

  18. How can I get parents to bring their kids more often? The kids enjoy Sunday school and the programs that have been developed, but the parents seem to feel that waiting for their kids is not a good use of time. (We are a small church and the middle school kids meet after church because there are not enough meeting spaces.)

  19. My question would be parents being consistent in bringing their kids to church. We have kids that want to come all the time but their parents force them to play travel ball or taking trips all the time

  20. So, I’m in my early teens. But sometimes I feel my mom doesn’t trust me with social media or networks. I don’t blame her. But a lot of my friends are in it and it seems unfair. If she can’t trust me with Instagram, why can she trust me with a baby? I mean seriously, I’m in my early teens, I don’t post pics of myself and she still doesn’t trust me, but she can trust me with a baby.

  21. How do you tell your children that their cousin has decided he is transgender and his parents supports it while our family believes it goes against Gods plan for us. Do you allow your children to be around this behavior for family gatherings? Is it teaching that it is ok for family but not ok for everyone else if we are around? Especially if the children are still young. There are so many things like this because of recent rulings and social acceptance that I am afraid is pulling extended families apart. Just another reason parents have to know what they believe so they can pass it along to their children.

  22. How can parents control social media for their child(ren) without being to controlling and what is the best way for grandparents to help?

  23. Should Kids Pastors be the primary communicators in kids church? In adult service, the senior pastor is the primary communicator, but I have heard that Kids Pastors shouldn’t teach, so that other people can. If that’s the point, should senior pastors preach.

  24. I would like for you to address how to work thru tough issues facing children of gay and lesbian couples……. they struggle to cope with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day; they struggle with how to handle having their “parents” at ball games and school events; they struggle with gender identity themselves; they struggle with how to answer questions from their peers; they struggle with “why did God let this happen to me”, and these just name a few. More and more of our children’ ministries are encountering these types of home situations and I find it increasingly challenging to navigate these issues during an average service because this has crept into EVERY aspect of life.

  25. Topic for your blog – 25/50/75/100 reasons why the bible is the inerrant, infallible, inspired word of God – this resource can be used by children ministry workers, thanks , Cherian.

  26. How do you keep the new generation of USA born kids from losing the Christian faith their immigrant parents founded

  27. I would like a blog about helping Senior and Executive Pastors see the importance of Children’s Ministry. Not just financially but as a whole. Thank you for all you do!!

  28. Brian,
    When you only have 1 child for Children’s Church, do you keep going or put it on hold for few months? I had a few more (we are a small church averaging 40-50 people-mostly older) 3 left because the parents ministry moved them to another church and 3 left because the grandparents who brought them left our church and went somewhere else. Any ideas? (I have had the one for several months–occasionally have visitors who really enjoy, but live an hour out of town.
    Thanks for all the work you are doing!
    Beth

  29. With the crisis in the world these days, and the fact that it seems we are seeing prophecy fulfilling before our eyes, how do we minimize the tension and fear for our children?

  30. I have two (if you would kindly oblige me):

    1) How to deal with preteens/teens who begin to question their belief in Christ and contemplate other religions/belief systems.

    2) Ideas for family-friendly ministries (i.e., outreach ministries that the whole family can do together – no matter the age of the children).

  31. I have two which are pressing on my heart:

    1) How to deal with preteens/teens who begin to question their belief in Christ and contemplate other religions/belief systems.

    2) Ideas for family-friendly ministries (i.e., outreach ministries that the whole family can do together – no matter the age of the children).

  32. As a female Director of Children’s Ministries, I would love insights as to how to effectively coach/encourage the men on our team! How can we be fruitful leaders to the opposite gender?

  33. Write about ministering to Inner City children.

    I minister in a area where there is a lot of shootings, overdoses and of course children raising children. Constantly looking for more info on how to reach these children and their parents/families for the kingdom.

    • Patty, I just want to post an encouragement — you are certainly standing deep in the gap and helping children (and their parents) avoid the pitfalls. I lift you and your ministry team up in prayer.

  34. As a new leader, sometimes it’s hard to deal with the idea that parents will talk to other church leadership, but will not approach you. What can I do to build that trust?

  35. I’d love to hear about how best to partner with parents as Children’s ministers. I never want to be overbearing or under-providing for parents, and I find it hard to strike a balance in connecting with parents and over-communicating.

  36. Brian,
    I have been using your HVKM resources on Wednesday and Sunday nights for several years, and the kids love Skittles and all the other characters. “Baby Face” freaked them out a little, but I do not think there will be any perminant damage. 🙂
    My question surrounds special needs kids. We do not have many, but there are a few. I have shared the need with one of our staff to start a special needs ministry, not only for the kids but also to help minister to the familes. We try our best to minister to the kids, and I believe that we are somewhat successful, but I know it could be better. I used the classic line, “If you build it, they will come” when talking to my staff person, but I have not gotten the response I hoped for. Not only are we not ministering to the fullest to the kids and their families, it sometimes frustrates the folks serving in Children’s ministry, because the special kids needs seem to be a distraction, when trying to teach.
    Any guidance and your prayers would be helpful and greatly appreciated.
    Thank you for your heart and your ministry. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

  37. An important topic for my husband and I. We have a four year old little girl. We spank (on the bum and not more than once) for bad behavior if continuing the behavior could harm her or someone else, (i.e. running out into the road after being told not to). Up to now we have only needed to “spank” approximately six times. We have a family member who is criticizing this stating, “hitting your child only teaches them to hit”. Huge topic, I know. But discipline and obedience are important. It saddens me to even need to place “spanking” on the list as a topic for guidance/discussion. But there it is…

  38. Happy Birthday Brian’s Blog. The topic that seems to be front and center in my ministry area is “How to connect and partner with Parents ” I have no kids, so moms groups, play dates, etc, are not a way I can get to know the parents of the kids in my class. Also, working full-time, puts me at a further disadvantage for daytime events for kids. We have had “back to school nights” and “after class social time – get to know your child’s teacher” and very few parents come.

    Well, that’s my major topic suggestion.
    One more thought — how to get the church leadership (pastors and staff) to communicate with the lay-people (teachers of children) about information they get such as people expecting a new child, blended families, home stress (loss of job, sick grandparent) and even give a heads up when there is confidential stuff going on without breaking their privacy vows (“the Smiths are having some private struggles right now, so little Jimmy may not be acting the same as he normally does”, Susie’s daddy is getting deployed for the next 6 months and will be leaving in 2 weeks”, etc)

    • Dawn, if your church has a secretary, they often get those calls first and pass them on to the pastor. You could let her/him know that you would like this info. Or maybe a prayer circle team leader. We have worked for quite awhile on building “teams” to carry on ministries and maybe this is a team that is needed for you. Watch to see who that mom is that connects with other moms and ask her to be the one to lead the team.

      • We do have a secretary who is also a Children’s Ministry Leader and if I passed your email along to her, I think it would give her a good laugh — she may know people are calling the Pastor, but not what it regards. She and I commiserate often — we recently found that one of the teachers assisting her was taking leave because she is pregnant – our scheduling system people knew about it, but it didn’t filter down.

  39. How do children’s ministry leaders get parents to take ownership of their responsibility for the spiritual growth of their children?

  40. Brian I have a couple kids in our ministry who do not come to Kids Church. We have met at other places and kids are fine. I have been to their school plays and they are fine well adjusted in the public school setting. But when they come to church they hang to mom and dad like they are terrified of all kids. What are some steps to help the few children that are anxious about parent separation at church?

  41. First, let me say how much we enjoy High Voltage children’s church. It is our “go-to” for fun curriculum. I have especially enjoyed it since you started using children to present concepts.
    Do you have key concepts that you feel children should know for a foundation to build upon?

  42. What are the pros and cons of having a nursery in the church? In a culture, where (almost) no churches have a nursery, what would be your reasoning for starting one or for refraining from it? Thank you!

  43. Tips for encouraging and educating the other ministry areas in your church (especially senior leadership) on a family ministry model. The church where I’m on staff as the Children’s Director talks as if our different departments are a team but doesn’t really display that in practice.

  44. How do we define “wins” in Children’s Ministry? It can’t be based on attendance because kids can’t drive themselves to church. It can’t be based on conversions because I want parents to have that privilege. It can’t be based on a lifetime of following Jesus since that won’t be seen in children for years. What is a strategic way to measure wins?

  45. WOW, everyone! I am away at Kids Camp this week, and I logged on to see how the blog was doing only to find over 60 comments and some GREAT questions! This is what I am talking about! I will DEFINITELY be picking several of these over the next few weeks to write about. So, get ready to find out if you are one of the ones who will win an autographed copy of my upcoming book, “Talk Now And Later!” And, don’t worry – it’s not too late to leave a comment with a specific question or subject matter you want me to write about. Join in the fun!!!

    • That’s a great topic Jason. A while ago, one of these great Kid-min guys did a survey (maybe Ryan) asking the top problems – one of the top 5 was this and I was struck by the fact that the other problems would be less contentious if we concentrated more on this one, than the others.

  46. How do you balance discipline expectations (and explain them to parents and kids) for the church vs the unchurched kids in our children’s minitstry?

  47. My issue is getting parents on board. I’ve read articles about parental involvement, but I cannot even get them to attend a meeting, even an informal one. I have exhausted all attempts, but most.
    Thanks

  48. First of all thank you for the time you put into this blog. Myself and many parents I know have benefited from reading your posts. A couple questions I have are
    1.) How do you transition to incorporating the small group experience into the Sunday morning service?
    2.)What do you do to train volunteers so they feel equipped to lead a small group? …Especially when I am very new to leading in children’s ministry anyway.

  49. Happy Birthday to your blog! I’ve been reading almost all four years and have really enjoyed your insight! Thanks so much for taking the time to pour into other leaders. What do you do to partner with the other ministries in your church, especially youth ministry since that is where our kids go next?

  50. How about writing about blogging about starting a new van ministry things to do and also things to avoid doing! Should you require sign up sheets for the kids so you the leader know who each child is and allergies they may have??